Wednesday, July 12, 2006
It suddenly hit me that I'm actually not that young anymore?!
Just met up with my mass commie mates earlier on & found out a handful of others are actually married! The girls to be specific. We are of a mere age of 23! Or is 23 not too young a age to settle down anymore?
I've always thought 28 would be the perfect age to settle down. (For a girl at least.) And I'm just 5 years away from that age! It's scary when I start to think about how much & how fast I have to grow to be ready for all that responsibility and commitment. It's even worse when I don't even have any potiential other half around me at the moment, when other girls are saving for marriage already?!
There're so many things I've yet to do! I wanna go study. I wanna go get a better job. I wanna find my dream job & get it. Can I achieve all these in 5 years? Can I be successful as I hope to be in 5 years? At the age of 28, I hope to be at the peak of my life — a great career, a stable income, a fulfilling love life, a promising future, be someone my parents can be proud of.
People I know tells me I am mature, but I think I've yet to grow up in certain ways. I can't name any specifics coz I don't even know it myself. I still feel like I'm some teenager sometimes. One who keeps wanting to have fun. One who thinks about nothing but shopping. One who thinks little about future, or maybe is refusing to look at it in the face.
I have been too protected. By everything that seems all so enough for me to go by now. I need to kick my ass out of the comfort zone. Before I just disintegrate away into that of a withered leaf by that random tree along the road waiting for the current to take me to where it wants me to be...
// she's beautifully chaotic at 2:33 AM >> 